this quarter is shaping up to be real good.
i love my english class. my professor opened up the first day of lecture with a discussion about democratic principles as applied to a university setting. seemingly irrelevant to american literature, yet he managed to tie it into something innate to american culture, american spirit, and ultimately... american literature. it's been so long since i've heard a genuinely passionate discussion regarding anything related to political science. at the end of class, i talked to him briefly about what he had discussed. our momentary discussion somehow led to a brief debate about the value of amicus curiae briefings in ex parte quirin. in an english class. how awesome is that?
i'm about to get ready for my first party of the school year, though for some reason, something in me would rather spend the night with this book i started earlier today. it's called Clotel, by William Wells Brown. haha. 19 years old and i'm preferring a book over partying on a friday night. what is wrong with me?
Friday, September 25, 2009
Monday, September 14, 2009
c'est le vie
a couple cheeky folks have been prodding me to update this thing, and i guess at some point, after a series of mindless posts regarding the MCAT and a litany of personal insults courtesy of one ellen sy, i'm finally obliged to deliver a legitimate, somewhat serious post.
so to begin on a light note. what i've come to realize after comparing my xanga posts and my blogspot posts is that my life has turned rather.....pre-medy? my xanga posts were much longer, much more stylistically embellished, and much more substantive, ranging anywhere from nba musings to musical musings, from constitutional justice to poetic justice, from the world according to garp to eden according to steinbeck, from personal failure to personal triumph. my blogspot, on other hand, feels like a laundry list of certain things i've done at ucla that'll hopefully be the path to my future as a doctor, and more importantly, as a somewhat decent human being. again, i think you guys get the shorter end of the stick in this transition. but oddly, i think it suits me better now, and it's prob better for me. some things don't change, though. i still love to write in an excessively stream of conscious form, and with that, stretches of unbearably broken logic and pure non-sense. i still update sparingly, and, were it not for the occasional reminder, would probably let my xanga/blogspot whither away. i still hate editing my posts and don't, because i have an awkward time reading my own style of writing. i also still hate re-reading my published posts, because i have an awkward time reading my own style writing.
but anyway, back to life, and to the more substantive stuff. i don't think i've offered anything to this blog in terms of what i've done this summer, so here we go. summer of 09' basically segments into two things: Kamei Lab and the MCAT. you probably don't need me to tell you at this point that there's not a whole lot of excitement in either of those alone, but there've definitely been some interesting moments. i've been doin vesicle leakage studies in lab, and there's definitely been some progress there. i had an awesome MCAT class instructor who talked really fast and has played DUNGEONS and DRAGONS. yes, dnd. yes, poker. nobody save perhaps 5 guys will understand the significance and extent of awesome in that bit.
so let's get to the interesting and the serious.
what initially seemed like my "worst" summer day was maybe the third or fourth wednesday of july. i was a mess at this point in every way imaginable, physically, emotionally, mentally. tuesday left me drained, and that particular wednesday was the second time this summer i'd have 14 hours of nonstop action. stroke shift 8am-2pm, mcat class from 2-5pm, and mobile clinic from 5-10pm. had 3 interviews to do during stroke shift, non with actual cases, and one transferred acute patient that earned me my second severe scolding from the stroke neurologist. came into my mcat class 20 minutes late with awkwardly disheveled hair and a loose tie, and managed to fall asleep within 20 minutes, waking up just in time to hear my name called to answer a question whose context and answer i still do not know to this day even after my actual exam.
then, there was mobile clinic. you'd think capping off a long day that's been going nowhere but downwards by spending it with homeless people would kind of suck, but in actuality and all seriousness, it's never failed to make my day better. i got to meet a few of the new caseworkers for next year, and got to catch up with some of the veteran caseworkers from my own class. fun times all around. did caseworking this time with a type-2 diabetic patient who came in with worsening edema in his legs. his name was john. john, who's been homeless for over 30 years, who's been struggling with diabetes for at least the past 12, and whose legs were deteriorating by the day, managed to keep my spirits up on a day where nothing else would with nothing but his own positive attitude and contagious personality. he kept amiable, answered my questions with patience and courtesy, and was always quick to finish his sentence with a big smile. after i notified the triage that i had finished, i had about a good half hour or so just to talk to him before the med student arrived. funnily enough, he did most of the questioning (it's usually the caseworker that spearheads the conversation, to keep the client company until a med student or attending is available). his first question? "what's wrong, son?" apparently, 54 years of wisdom helps you evaluate a person's emotional and mental state (he later told me it was my smile that gave it away, that i would never hold it more than i had to after i spoke to someone, and that it seemed overly fronted. damnit am i that easy to read, or is he just that good?). and so i just decided to let go. told him just about everything that was bothering me, professionally and personally. he listened, eagerly asked questions as i went along, and listened some more. right before the med student arrived, he gave me some advice. at the time, i didn't really appreciate his advice all too much. i was moreso appreciative of the fact that he questioned and was naturally curious enough to listen.
the advice he gave me, which he says is something he hoped i would incorporate immediately in my own life, was rather simple - make sure to trust life, to understand that things happen for a reason, and that they are usually for the better. not exactly the advice you'd expect from a homeless person, considering how life's treated him. he says this fully acknowledging that he's homeless himself, but he said that he was happy, that there were lower points in his life compared to now, even with all his physical ailments and financial difficulties.
the meaning of his advice never really resonated in me until now, over maybe a month since i had seen or talked to him. he saw the underlying problems in my situations better than i did at the time. it's taken me additional time and further tribulation to realize some of the tendencies that he probably immediately saw after having glimpses of my own problems that day. power of wisdom?
you don't appreciate advice like that until you go through your own trials and really realize how truly applicable they are to you. more often than not, the tribulation transpires, and you can only wish that you'd known better before it all happened, that you could take what you know now and have the chance to undergo that trial once more. but that's just not how life works. you can choose to wallow in the past and live in regret, or you can take that lesson to heart and look forward to tomorrow's opportunities. cliche and overused, yes. but it's always one thing to hear about it and nod your head, and another to truly understand and live it. life can suck a lot, but only if you let it.
damn, that was one long post, but much needed.
time to get boba.
so to begin on a light note. what i've come to realize after comparing my xanga posts and my blogspot posts is that my life has turned rather.....pre-medy? my xanga posts were much longer, much more stylistically embellished, and much more substantive, ranging anywhere from nba musings to musical musings, from constitutional justice to poetic justice, from the world according to garp to eden according to steinbeck, from personal failure to personal triumph. my blogspot, on other hand, feels like a laundry list of certain things i've done at ucla that'll hopefully be the path to my future as a doctor, and more importantly, as a somewhat decent human being. again, i think you guys get the shorter end of the stick in this transition. but oddly, i think it suits me better now, and it's prob better for me. some things don't change, though. i still love to write in an excessively stream of conscious form, and with that, stretches of unbearably broken logic and pure non-sense. i still update sparingly, and, were it not for the occasional reminder, would probably let my xanga/blogspot whither away. i still hate editing my posts and don't, because i have an awkward time reading my own style of writing. i also still hate re-reading my published posts, because i have an awkward time reading my own style writing.
but anyway, back to life, and to the more substantive stuff. i don't think i've offered anything to this blog in terms of what i've done this summer, so here we go. summer of 09' basically segments into two things: Kamei Lab and the MCAT. you probably don't need me to tell you at this point that there's not a whole lot of excitement in either of those alone, but there've definitely been some interesting moments. i've been doin vesicle leakage studies in lab, and there's definitely been some progress there. i had an awesome MCAT class instructor who talked really fast and has played DUNGEONS and DRAGONS. yes, dnd. yes, poker. nobody save perhaps 5 guys will understand the significance and extent of awesome in that bit.
so let's get to the interesting and the serious.
what initially seemed like my "worst" summer day was maybe the third or fourth wednesday of july. i was a mess at this point in every way imaginable, physically, emotionally, mentally. tuesday left me drained, and that particular wednesday was the second time this summer i'd have 14 hours of nonstop action. stroke shift 8am-2pm, mcat class from 2-5pm, and mobile clinic from 5-10pm. had 3 interviews to do during stroke shift, non with actual cases, and one transferred acute patient that earned me my second severe scolding from the stroke neurologist. came into my mcat class 20 minutes late with awkwardly disheveled hair and a loose tie, and managed to fall asleep within 20 minutes, waking up just in time to hear my name called to answer a question whose context and answer i still do not know to this day even after my actual exam.
then, there was mobile clinic. you'd think capping off a long day that's been going nowhere but downwards by spending it with homeless people would kind of suck, but in actuality and all seriousness, it's never failed to make my day better. i got to meet a few of the new caseworkers for next year, and got to catch up with some of the veteran caseworkers from my own class. fun times all around. did caseworking this time with a type-2 diabetic patient who came in with worsening edema in his legs. his name was john. john, who's been homeless for over 30 years, who's been struggling with diabetes for at least the past 12, and whose legs were deteriorating by the day, managed to keep my spirits up on a day where nothing else would with nothing but his own positive attitude and contagious personality. he kept amiable, answered my questions with patience and courtesy, and was always quick to finish his sentence with a big smile. after i notified the triage that i had finished, i had about a good half hour or so just to talk to him before the med student arrived. funnily enough, he did most of the questioning (it's usually the caseworker that spearheads the conversation, to keep the client company until a med student or attending is available). his first question? "what's wrong, son?" apparently, 54 years of wisdom helps you evaluate a person's emotional and mental state (he later told me it was my smile that gave it away, that i would never hold it more than i had to after i spoke to someone, and that it seemed overly fronted. damnit am i that easy to read, or is he just that good?). and so i just decided to let go. told him just about everything that was bothering me, professionally and personally. he listened, eagerly asked questions as i went along, and listened some more. right before the med student arrived, he gave me some advice. at the time, i didn't really appreciate his advice all too much. i was moreso appreciative of the fact that he questioned and was naturally curious enough to listen.
the advice he gave me, which he says is something he hoped i would incorporate immediately in my own life, was rather simple - make sure to trust life, to understand that things happen for a reason, and that they are usually for the better. not exactly the advice you'd expect from a homeless person, considering how life's treated him. he says this fully acknowledging that he's homeless himself, but he said that he was happy, that there were lower points in his life compared to now, even with all his physical ailments and financial difficulties.
the meaning of his advice never really resonated in me until now, over maybe a month since i had seen or talked to him. he saw the underlying problems in my situations better than i did at the time. it's taken me additional time and further tribulation to realize some of the tendencies that he probably immediately saw after having glimpses of my own problems that day. power of wisdom?
you don't appreciate advice like that until you go through your own trials and really realize how truly applicable they are to you. more often than not, the tribulation transpires, and you can only wish that you'd known better before it all happened, that you could take what you know now and have the chance to undergo that trial once more. but that's just not how life works. you can choose to wallow in the past and live in regret, or you can take that lesson to heart and look forward to tomorrow's opportunities. cliche and overused, yes. but it's always one thing to hear about it and nod your head, and another to truly understand and live it. life can suck a lot, but only if you let it.
damn, that was one long post, but much needed.
time to get boba.
Sunday, August 30, 2009
10 Days
words cannot describe how driven and focused i feel right now
good luck, fellow mcat'ers
see you all after the 10th
good luck, fellow mcat'ers
see you all after the 10th
Monday, August 10, 2009
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
my sanctuary
it's been a long, long time since the last update. for some reason, i always find myself returning to blogs in the oddest of times. it's been like that since my first xanga back in 02'. this time i've got finals coming up fast and many other inconveniently timed events between now and then. it seems like everyone's been keeping theirs up and running haha and yet i haven't updated this thing in ages even though i started this whole blogspot business among the circle
before i began typing this, i took a little time to read some of my older posts here and on my old xanga. all i could think was, wtf happened to my writing? it makes me sad that my writing back in high school was so much more rich, substantive, and appropriately embellished than most of the junk i'm writing here. i'm taking my first ge class this summer, and i'm actually really looking forward to it. english 85 - american novels. sounds rather generic, but it's a start.
okay people are coming into the room and i need to study. better update later, i promise
and happy 21, felix
thanks for the jack shot LOL
before i began typing this, i took a little time to read some of my older posts here and on my old xanga. all i could think was, wtf happened to my writing? it makes me sad that my writing back in high school was so much more rich, substantive, and appropriately embellished than most of the junk i'm writing here. i'm taking my first ge class this summer, and i'm actually really looking forward to it. english 85 - american novels. sounds rather generic, but it's a start.
okay people are coming into the room and i need to study. better update later, i promise
and happy 21, felix
thanks for the jack shot LOL
Monday, March 30, 2009
Lebron James on 60 Minutes
"You can't be afraid to fail," James told Kroft. "It's the only way you succeed -- you're not going to succeed all the time, and I know that. You have to be able to accept failure to get better."
-- LeBron James
-- LeBron James
Friday, February 20, 2009
things i've learned this week
1. there are some parts of the american healthcare system that are beyond fucked up
2. if you're from an asian family and your parents are fobs, check to see if they've been tested for hep b. if they test positive, make sure that you received the appropriate treatments upon birth, or you might be in for a not so pleasant surprise =/
3. chlamydia DEFINITELY is NOT a flower
2. if you're from an asian family and your parents are fobs, check to see if they've been tested for hep b. if they test positive, make sure that you received the appropriate treatments upon birth, or you might be in for a not so pleasant surprise =/
3. chlamydia DEFINITELY is NOT a flower
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